Family, Thrifting, & Babywearing

(I started this post the first week of November. Thankfully, I can blame "being pregnant" for my lack of timeliness.)

Every year, our local Junior League has a bargain sale. I always look forward to the one back home, so I stalk anticipate the local Durham sale.  I had the privilege of taking one of my friends as my “date” to the preview sale on Friday night. We both enjoyed a fun girls night of shopping for bargains sans husbands and kids. I scored a few vintage-y kitchen towels and an immaculate Aden & Anis muslin swaddle blanket for a couple of dollars. My friend scored a like new Fossil purse and a few other items. We had a great time catching up, scouring through random items and celebrating our treasures!

Early November belly! 

Late Friday night, our cousins came to stay with us. We are always excited to catch up with them and especially enjoyed this visit, as they are also pregnant with their first baby! It was so nice to talk about babies and pregnancies, and Kyle enjoyed quality guy time, too. Abner enjoyed reconnecting with his doggy cousin, Farley. We were all pleased to see how well the two pups got along and even left them alone together while we went out Saturday morning.

Pregnant cousins!

We began our morning by stopping by the Jr. League sale. Although I checked out the preview night, Kyle & I still found items to purchase Saturday morning, and our cousins found some great items, too.  I was most excited to find a mug that matched a thrift store mug we found a month ago!

Winter wonderland mugs!

Breakfast at Foster’s Market was the perfect treat after shopping. I met a mom at the coffee bar who recently delivered her son eight weeks early. He was healthy and is doing well! She was so sweet and offered encouragement for our delivery.  It is funny how many random people I have met over the last few months. My heart is definitely encouraged by these conversations.

The rest of the afternoon was spent resting (the moms) and playing video games (the dads.) It was definitely the perfect pregnant end to our morning.

After our cousins left, Kyle and I attended a Babywearing class at the NC Birth Center. Yes, I said Babywearing. This class offered hands-on demonstrations of various baby carriers, slings, and wraps. It was nice to check out so many different brands and styles, and Kyle actually approved a few carriers. We are both pretty excited about Samuel’s arrival and hope he enjoys babywearing.

And then Samuel wasn't moving...

As I have said before, Samuel is an amazingly active little man. So much so, that I really don’t do the fetal kick counts. I mentioned this to my doctor, and he said it was fine. Why should I count movements when my baby is always active day and night? In fact, I often just sit and watch my belly for entertainment. I have even asked my doctor if kicks in “certain areas” are normal. (TMI??) So, yes, he is active and kicking A LOT.

Samuel wasn't moving on Monday, but I didn’t think much of it, as I had several rough Braxton-Hicks contractions and spent most of the day resting. I enjoyed some Skittles and a fun-size PayDay after dinner, but that didn’t get him moving either. I figured he was probably exhausted from those contractions. I waited to feel him as I went to bed, as he likes to tell me goodnight through some Karate chops to my abdomen, but he was quiet. I anticipated his 3am Kung Fu moves, but he was still quiet. His usual 5am and 7am movements were missing, too. After a strangely quiet evening, I got out of bed and told Kyle I should probably call the nurse. As I left a message, I drank caffeinated coffee with sugary creamer to encourage Samuel to perk up, but he wasn’t budging. Anticipating the nurse may tell me to come in, I showered, dressed and waited for her to return my call.

About an hour after my coffee, the nurse called and inquired about our situation. She asked me to try the usual, “eat or drink something sweet and see if that prompts movement.” When I explained my breakfast of coffee, hot sweetened oatmeal, and cold water, she reviewed my history and asked me to come in for an ultrasound. I told her I would present within the hour.

Before I left home, I was convicted (somewhat through Kyle) about feeling defeated and expecting the worst. I really do struggle to keep my thoughts positive, and I think it’s a defense mechanism after losing Duncan. I am trying to remind myself “Expect the best, but prepare for the worst” is a load of junk. It makes absolutely no sense to live my life this way. Why would I want to live and think like this? I certainly do not want Samuel to think in this manner. On the way to the hospital, I talked to Samuel (and my own heart) and reminded us “Everything is going to be okay. We are just going in for reassurance, and so Mom can see you.”

I arrived at the ultrasound department where a nurse began a non-stress test (NST) which monitored for fetal heartbeat, uterine contractions, and fetal movement. Samuel’s heartbeat was excellent, between 137 and 155, my uterus was pretty quiet, with few contractions, but there was minimal fetal movement. The nurse tried to prompt movement with a “buzzer,” but Samuel wasn’t interested in the sounds. She laughed when I told her Kyle talks to my belly a lot, and we have Abner, so Samuel isn’t shocked by noise. (I didn't mention he had also endured several of our apartment's ridiculously loud fire alarms during this pregnancy.) After monitoring me for about 30 minutes, she asked me to wait in the waiting room for the sonographer.

The sonographer prepped me and began scanning my belly. We were able to see Samuel’s heart, him breathing through his mouth and nose, his body, the placenta, and the fluid around his body. He even had one of his legs pulled up to his face. (Yoga baby??) After about five minutes of scanning, he moved his leg back down. I felt this movement! As far as we could tell, everything looked good, but I had to wait for the doctor to give an official report.

With the sweetest smile on her face, the doctor arrived and said everything looked good. She expressed how important it was for me to call the nurse, as Samuel wasn't moving enough during the NST, which prompted her to order an ultrasound. This was further reassurance to me that I made the correct decision. She actually said if she sees me everyday until Samuel is born, that is okay with her, as I will recognize something different in pregnancy sooner than anyone else.

Throughout this visit, I was so encouraged by the compassion of the staff. The nurse said even after 20 years, she still finds joy in hearing a baby's heartbeat and rejoiced with me over Samuel's sweet little beats.  Our sonographer loved the name Samuel and was so excited to hear the story of God’s hand in this pregnancy. She also shared her own adoption story and God's work in the life of her family. Even our doctor was excited to find out our baby’s name is Samuel, as her name is Samantha. Every provider reiterated the importance of my call to the nurse and being seen today. The kind words, sincere joy, and sweet hugs from these providers will be appreciated forever.

As I waited to check out, Kyle surprised me with his arrival. I had encouraged him to go to class and told him I would keep him posted. Without phone service, I didn’t receive his text request for updates, which concerned him. He wasn’t sure in which department he would find me, so he quickly checked L&D before stopping by my OB’s clinic and asking the receptionist how to find me. I can’t express how excited I was to see him and how much I love him and his heart. I feel so blessed and am thankful to my Father for His hand in our lives and in this pregnancy. 

Emeals

We recently joined Emeals and are enjoying the meal planning and recipes they offer. If it continues to be successful, I hope it will assist our family in eating real meals once Samuel arrives. This week we started the clean eating plan. Our first meal was Bison flank steak with a kale, quinoa, and chickpea salad. It was delicious! (Yes, great food is an obsession while pregnant!)

Our first "clean" meal.

30 Weeks

We have embarked upon week 30 of this pregnancy. Ten (or so) weeks to go!

Kyle and I participated in a 12-hour childbirth class through our hospital, and it was absolutely wonderful. I really enjoyed our instructor, a doula, and her encouragement regarding natural childbirth. I don’t know how I will hold up this time, but I hope I can be a bit more mobile and use natural methods (aka gravity) to assist in the progress of our labor. I have already experienced a delivery with an epidural, so I have no anxiety, but I would prefer to make it without one. (I definitely waited until I absolutely needed it last time.) Although our instructor stated most moms experience anxiety and slowed labor as they enter the hospital, I, on the other hand, expect to breathe a sigh of relief upon my hospital arrival. After our last pregnancy, I know I will feel better once we are in the hands of our caregivers. Sitting in class, I appreciated the instructor’s honesty and longed to have heard the experiences and “what to expect” scenarios before going into labor with Duncan. Though I am already familiar with the less-than-desirable aspects of birth, I am thankful our classmates are now aware of the bodily changes that will occur.  November will hold a breastfeeding class, cloth diapering class, tour of  Labor & Delivery, and a baby wearing class. We are looking forward to baby information overload!

29 Weeks!

Our 29-week visit with the doctor went really well.  My fundal height measured between 29 & 30 cm, which is right on schedule, and Samuel's heartbeat was around 155. We were able to ask a lot of questions regarding circumcision, doulas, delivery, placental encapsulation (We aren’t doing this, but we wanted to learn more about it.), flu shots, vaccinations, etc. I was also given my rhogam shot. We are now at the point where we will follow-up every two weeks until we deliver.  For the first time during this pregnancy, I didn’t ask to see Samuel but was okay with hearing his heartbeat. It wasn’t until we left that I realized we didn’t see him. I can only attribute this peace to God.  I know we aren’t in the clear (are we ever?), but I am trusting my Father to provide and walk us through this pregnancy hand-in-hand.

Samuel is pretty active. I enjoy watching my belly move when he kicks! I am experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions in full force and often have to stop and breathe through the tightness and discomfort. Instead of complaining about them, I try to offer reassurance to Samuel. It is a challenge to remember these are a natural preparation for his birth. I am thankful for my “mommy” friends and family who have been so encouraging as I ask questions and express pregnancy stress and pains. It is such a blessing to have empathy and reassurance.

Samuel is already a blessed little boy! A dear friend shipped a box of toys and a play mat to us. (This shipment also revealed Abner’s penchant for squeak toys, which was quickly satisfied after a trip to PetSmart.) Another dear friend shipped me a huge box of maternity clothes, which turned our den into a maternity Christmas! Kyle endured a fashion show as I tried on every item and put outfits together. How I wish my friend could have been here to play “dress up” with me! Through these years of moving, I am reminded of the beautiful friendships God has given us. I am so thankful for all of them and look forward to continued and new friendships throughout our travels.

Abner is becoming more and more protective of me. He is my shadow, following me from room to room to make sure I am ok. If I am in bed and groan during a B-H contraction, he is quick to leave Kyle and lay with me. When I cry, he becomes anxious and attempts to calm me. He walks much slower with me than with Kyle and stops if I drop his leash. I continue to pray he has a gentle protective heart for Samuel.  He spent about five hours at Camp Bow Wow for an interview day and did okay, spending most of the time hiding under the stairs in the tunnel. Given we have a pretty calm and quiet home, this experience was a bit overwhelming, but I want to take him a few more times before Samuel is born and am praying he begins to really enjoy his time there.  

Per Kyle, I have begun to nest, as I am in a constant state of planning and preparation. I am making to-do lists and planning for possible family arrivals, meal planning, cleaning, care for Abner, and an upcoming move. A quick trip to the vet produced an adequate supply of preventative medications for our pup to get us through Samuel’s first four months. I have scheduled our pup’s Spring vaccination and check-up appointments, too.  Things are going to be forgotten, so we will just address those when we face them.  Samuel’s arrival will be during an incredibly busy semester for Kyle; my goal is to alleviate additional stress before he comes.

Wow. Ten Weeks. Time is flying by! 

Honest Thoughts

I started calling the baby "Miss Priss" about a month into the pregnancy and began to collect a myriad of sweet girl craft and sewing tutorials; I was convinced our baby was a girl. I even purchased a dress and pajamas for our girl. I had convinced a friend the baby was a girl, so she sent me a sweet outfit for a girl. I was looking forward to making dresses, having tea parties, learning how to smock, and passing on many Southern traditions. At our 18 week appointment, we learned "Miss Priss" was actually Samuel. I was so excited to learn our baby looked healthy, but I had a twinge of disappointment of not having a "little miss."

Within a day or so, my disappointment was replaced with joy. My heart began to find the excitement in raising a Southern Gentleman. (He may be born in North Carolina and heading to New York, but his heart will always be from Georgia!) Oh, where to begin: March Madness, Southern Football, opening doors for and appreciating ladies, seersucker...there is so much for him to appreciate! I later began to scour the internet and Pinterest for tutorials and ideas for boy clothing and crafts. Why are there so few patterns for boys? (Along the same thought, why is the selection of boy clothing so limited?) Eventually, I found a simple pattern for newborn pants and made a pair. I was so proud of myself: I actually made a pair of pants! Maybe, just maybe, I can handle this challenge creatively. I have sewn a few diaper burp pads and modified a pair of my jeans. I had a difficult time finding maternity trouser jeans, so I found a tute and made my own. I wear them all the time, and I love that they were "free."

Baby Pants

Burp Cloths

Another Burp Cloth

My heart is full of joy when I think about my house of boys: Kyle, Abner, and Samuel. I may be outnumbered, but I am pretty excited about this adventure. I am prepared to continue to keep my soft heart amidst a household of strong men.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.   Psalms 139:13-16 

26 Weeks!

Wow, only 14 weeks left! We can’t wait to hold Samuel in our arms!

After feeling pain for several days last week, I called our nurse who suggested going to Labor and Delivery. Given our history with Duncan, she is extra cautious with us. Thankfully, Sam had a strong heartbeat, they confirmed my pains were growth, my contractions are still focal, and my cervix is closed. So, with mom and baby looking good, we went home.  We had wonderful nurses and doctors and told them we hope to not see them again until January!

25 Weeks!

On Thursday, we saw our doctor for another check-up. He greeted me with “I leave the country, come back and you are big!” Of course, I responded with, “You just called me fat.” He laughed. He is excited to see we are growing appropriately. I am definitely looking pregnant. Several people have mentioned my belly looks small for 26 weeks, which the doctor said was due to my long torso and build.  I was able to follow up with him about our L& D visit and talk to him about my discomforts & pains.  My abs are separating, and my five abdominal surgical and laparoscopic scars, one of which is in my bellybutton, are causing a good deal of pain. He said there is a slight possibility of an umbilical hernia, but that would be okay during the pregnancy. He reinforced his instruction to wear a maternity belt and mentioned I might have to purchase one with shoulder straps. We ended our visit with a quick peek at Samuel. It is so exciting to see his spine, arms, feet, toes, lungs, and heart.  After our appointment, I completed my Glucose Tolerance Test and should receive those results soon. I confess the orange drink wasn’t so bad, which I proudly attribute to my recent rediscovery of Southern Sweet Tea! 

On a more fun note, Kyle and I attended a beautiful wedding for one of his professors. We had a wonderful time and enjoyed great conversation and amazing food. (I had no clue butternut squash soup was so delicious!) Samuel did well this time and appreciated my refusal to dance.  After Kyle and I danced at the last wedding we attended, Samuel had the unfortunate introduction to Braxton Hicks contractions. I am saving the dancing for January. Or maybe after!

Wedding Food!

Kyle, Samuel & me at the wedding!

I continue to encounter a lot of interesting people during my walks with Abner. One evening, I met a lady in the parking lot across the street who asked about the baby. I was able to share Samuel’s little story, and she shared the story of her pregnancies and children and the infertility and “miracle birth” story of a couple at her church. It was such a sweet encouraging time. A few days later, I met another lady with a dog that looked like Abner. As we talked, she shared her story of being told she could not have children, her six miscarriages, and her two beautiful college-age children. She was so encouraging and offered such sweet compassion. I really do believe our interactions with others are purposeful and have appreciated the conversations God has recently provided. I value my friendships more than ever and have longed for encouragement and compassion this past year. I am so thankful for my friends and family who have provided amazing support across the miles. I continue to see how God answers prayers in His perfect way. Even through Duncan’s delivery, He provided compassionate friends and caregivers and took him home without suffering. He is still providing perfect conversations and compassionate friends, family, and caregivers just when we need them.

We continue to pray our Shih Tzu, Abner, will be a great friend to Samuel. I am still amazed at how much we love our little pup. We laugh that he is training us for the baby. After we adopted him in April, we discovered he was never socialized; he is warming up to the dogs in the neighborhood, and he loves sweet children. He prefers a calm atmosphere, as he is an extremely low energy dog who is most content sitting beside you on the sofa (or snuggled up beside you during a nap.) Since we found out we were pregnant a couple of weeks after his adoption, he has been spoiled with a lot of quiet nap time with mom! I am not sure how he will respond to the weather in New York, but I am certain he is going to enjoy finally having a yard. Regarding the weather, go ahead and prepare yourself for an onslaught of pictures of Abner in sweaters. If I am lucky, I can dress him and Samuel alike. Ha. Just kidding. Sort of. 

Abner and Mom at work.

A special treat for our friends:

Samuel kicking. (It's the bounce about halfway through the video.)